Three Steps to Getting Unstuck

July 27, 2010

Feeling stuck in a job you don’t like? Not sure what you want to do next in your life? Do you spend a lot of time planning and thinking, but never take action? Don’t give up! There are ways to move towards the life you really want.

Step 1: Identify the “tolerations” in your life

Are you still stepping over shoes you left in the middle of the floor? Is there a pile of junk mail on your kitchen table? Are there things that are on your “to do” list that never get done? What are you tolerating in your life? Make a list of the things that you want to clean, or change, or replace. Prioritize and do one thing on the list every day or each week. Having little things left undone is only a reflection of larger issues you may not be addressing.

Step 2: Stop expecting the past to be just like the future

If you’ve been disappointed in the past with a job change, for instance, you may believe that you’ll never find a job that is the right fit for you. If you’ve had abusive managers or worked in negative environments, you might think every workplace will be the same. Focusing on the past (and all of the disappointments) keeps you stuck. It’s hard to move forward if all you can see ahead of you is more of the same.

Set goals and take action without expectation of what will happen in the future. You have no idea what will happen until it actually does. Living in the moment means that you aren’t anticipating a result, instead you’re staying focused on what you’re experiencing right now. Staying focused will get you to where you want to be and keep you moving forward.

Step 3: Give up control

As long as you try to stay in control of every situation, you will limit the ways in which you can receive opportunities. If you have low expectations of what you’ll get from a job or a relationship, what you receive will match those expectations. Or, you may refuse to accept the good things that come to you because they don’t come to you in the way you’re expecting.

When you stay in control, you shut out the unexpected and the unpredictable. Getting unstuck means you have to take a bit of a risk to find the new job, relationship, or brand new life that you’ve been dreaming about. Be open and be willing to be vulnerable. Don’t feel that you have to protect yourself from hurt. By doing that you’ll also be closing out the good things as well.

Copyright © 2008 – 2014 Deborah A. Bailey

Deborah A Bailey

Deborah is a writer, writing workshop presenter and published author. She's host of the Women Entrepreneurs Radio podcast.

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