Why You Have to Give Up Control to Get What You Really Want

February 2, 2015
woman walking outdoors

woman walking outdoors“Do your best until you know better. Then when you know better, you do better.” – Maya Angelou


Have you ever felt stuck in the same job situations, relationships or financial circumstances?


Do you feel like you’re going through the same things over and over?


When you live in the state of “what was” you’ll always repeat the same experiences.

How do you break free?


Be open to new things coming into your life. But don’t assume that you’ll have control over how they’ll come. Letting go of control is the hard part, though.


When you’re open the universe can work freely without being held back by your limited expectations.


Think about it. If you judge every new situation by what happened in the past, how can anything new enter your life? If it’s new and unfamiliar, there’s no past experience to base your expectations on.


Unfortunately, for some of us the unknown and unfamiliar must be bad. For some people anything foreign is instantly rejected. Not because it’s negative, but because if they can’t fit into their existing paradigm, they can’t deal with it. Or they react in fear or even anger.


Maybe you’re afraid that the new job, love interest or financial windfall is really too good for you. It’s so different than what you’ve had, so it must be a mistake. It can’t be real. So to protect yourself, you push it away. That way you won’t be hurt when it fails.


That’s how people sabotage relationships, job and business opportunities, financial wealth, weight loss–you name it. Instead of moving forward into something new, we hold on to the familiar patterns.


open doorEven if the old habits don’t work, we keep doing them–all the while expecting a different result.


The person you are today is because of all the stuff you went through before. The good and the bad. Don’t beat yourself up about what you “should” have done. You did the best you could with the knowledge you had at the time.


Create a vision of what you want, and don’t shut out the new and unfamiliar. Be willing to take a chance on something that you’ve never done before.


Learn from the past, but don’t stay stuck there.


Copyright © 2015 – 2018 Deborah A. Bailey

Photo Credit: zen via Compfight ccs

Clem Onojeghuo


Based on a chapter from: Think Like an Entrepreneur: Transforming Your Career and Taking Charge of Your Life.




Deborah A Bailey

Deborah is a writer, writing workshop presenter and published author. She's host of the Women Entrepreneurs Radio podcast.

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